Today's Oppo Challenge

"PS9" (PS9)
04/11/2015 at 13:08 • Filed to: None

You can obtain a free Jaguar CX-75. Completely free. Maintenance, insurance, and fuel will be covered for the life of the car, or until you decide you don't want it anymore. Door's unlocked with keys inside. Just one catch...

...It is being guarded by this guy. You must get past him alive to get it. You are unarmed.

DISCUSSION (26)

My citroen won't start > PS9
04/11/2015 at 13:11

Does it know I'm there?

PatBateman > PS9
04/11/2015 at 13:12

At least give me a mag .22 rifle.

ETA: or a steak.

Anon > PS9
04/11/2015 at 13:15

Take off my shirt and put my steel toed boot in there and make a sling. I hate to hurt an animal but after it gets a steel toed boot to the face at a speed of 100 miles an hour I'm sure he won't be there too much longer.

misfitmascots > PS9
04/11/2015 at 13:15

Can I bring a whole lamb leg?

Carlos wishes he has a manual > PS9
04/11/2015 at 13:16

i would do it while he was sleeping then just park it somewhere else forever.

nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > PS9
04/11/2015 at 13:17

run at him, peeing violently! Aiming for the face. Nobody wants pee in their face.

I call it the charging firefighter

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > PS9
04/11/2015 at 13:18

easy, I'm wearing camo, he'll never see me

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > PS9
04/11/2015 at 13:18

I'll stick with my Renault thanks...

Anon > nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul
04/11/2015 at 13:19

RIP your penis.

For Sweden > PatBateman
04/11/2015 at 13:23

>mag .22

>not a .500 Nitro Express

jkm7680 > PS9
04/11/2015 at 13:28

Nice kitty. NICE KITTY. NIIICE KITTTY AAAHGHHHHHHH.

PS9 > Anon
04/11/2015 at 13:33

-off.

Yep. Do that and he will rip your penis off.

NonDriftingS13 > PS9
04/11/2015 at 13:36

I'd probably just throw my shoe and distract it or something.

505Turbeaux > PS9
04/11/2015 at 14:00

I got that shit on the sneak. Fuck it

TheHondaBro > PS9
04/11/2015 at 14:01

When did the Lion last eat? If it was just yesterday, then he won't touch me.

E. Julius > PS9
04/11/2015 at 14:04

Follow the principles neatly described here in Edward T. Hall's The Hidden Dimension to make your war to maneuver around the lion and make your way to the door of the car. Once you're close enough, jump in, fire it up, and peel the fuck out.

Kinja'd!!!

RockThrillz89 > PS9
04/11/2015 at 14:12

Show that lion who's truly alpha and charge him straight on. And if he wants to get froggy, well, let's just say that the ladies really dig a bed with a lion pelt comforter.

TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > PS9
04/11/2015 at 14:21

I'll bring kitty treats. Like a massive bloody steak.

71MGBGT Likes Subarus of Unusual Colors > PS9
04/11/2015 at 14:25

My research lab has a lot of Chloroform. I'd run back to my lab and get some and then throw the bottle at the lion. It might knock the lion unconscious long enough for me to get in the car and drive away